Late Night Thoughts (But Torture Is Discussed)
December 18, 2015
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I’m coming down with a cold (I don’t get sick). Last night was the transition from a scratchy throat to a runny nose. Obviously, I was kept awake. During one of my wake-up sessions, I had a thought: Getting death threats from people could be pretty scary. But if you got a death threat from a death metal band, I don’t think it would be scary at all. How could you even take it seriously?
“I’ll rip out your guts!” – Yeah, ok. I hear ya.
“I’ll murder you while you sleep!” – You said that on your last two albums.
“You will be tortured for years and years!” – Blah, blah, blah.
And threats like that, whether you hear them from a death metal band or from someone who is trying to express how they don’t like you, are, by-and-large, empty. It’s what I will call a “smorgasbord of torture.” The person has no clue what they are going to do to you, so they say they’re going to do it all. Break your legs, crush your skull, rip out your tongue. Yawn. Do they even know how much effort those things take? Do they even know how a body works? Clearly, you can’t rip out someone’s guts and torture them for years. It’s not realistic. And what, in the realm of death metal music, is ever realistic?
Now, what you have to watch out for is someone who makes a threat and then starts making the threat more and more specific and detailed. This person knows. This person has a plan. This person is the one to be feared.
So yeah, I hope I feel better soon. It’s the holiday season, after all.