For people that love anniversaries, it’s going to be a good couple months. I got this notification from WordPress today:
It’s a fucking ACHIEVEMENT – it says so right at the top! Time has gone by and I am to be commended for that. This is truly a fantastic day in my long, illustrious Internet history. I have a few words I want to say in gratitude of this prestigious honor.
First, all you young little shits don’t know how good you have it. You have so many fucking people on the internet now, you can get followers at the drop of a hat. All you need is a bunch of “Dunk Memes” (Dark? Derk? Dank? Whatever.) and you’ll skyrocket to the top. You also have the ability to install a bunch of “plug-ins”, which are like air fresheners for your blog. I see where they got the name from. They’ll keep your blog theme fresh and new for all your attention-deficient and fickle followers.
Me being me, I’m not here to make friends (but I am loyal beyond measure to the few I have). I just put this shit out here and see what happens. If nothing else, I have a record of what’s happened in my life. You might notice I’m being vague here, but I have a second anniversary coming up and I’m going to get really stupid on that one.
Now, back to being crotchety. Second, punks, I’m older than a lot of you. So, if you think you’re going to catch up with me and beat my seven years of WP tenure, think again. No really, think. Because that’s how time works. You’re going to hit seven years, I’m going to be at seventeen. In your face, maggots! Of course, in ten years, I could be dead. Then: Maggots, in my face!
So, how did I get here? I owe it all to Windows Live and Microsoft’s shitty decision to continually sunset any product I enjoy using. Remember what Live Spaces looks like? The Internet does.
That’s about all I have to say about blogging right now. You’ll just have to wait for the other anniversary for the self-indulgent hit parade.